Yes, I'm home. Sorry it's taken me so long to blog. I've been um... recuperating. I haven't recovered from jet lag as well as I'd thought. I did fine recovering when I arrived in India, but this time has been harder. And, I'm having bowl problems. It feels like I'm having culture/food shock, yet in my very own country! Weird.
I haven't been sleeping well since arriving home. I wake up several times in the night (usually around 4 which was lunch time in Thailand). I can't fall asleep well. Like, last night, it took me over 2 hours to get to sleep! Pathetic! But, I started counting to 100 in Spanish and that did the trick. I didn't even get to 80. But either way, I'm suffering from lack of sleep. I only got like around 5 hours of sleep or less on the whole trip home which I'm guessing was around 2 1/2 or 3 days of traveling. Yes, I'm very tired.
But it sure feels good to be home. I hadn't really felt like I was gone that long. Seeing my family wasn't such a big deal like it was when I came back from Guatemala, but that's partly due to Skype (bless those who came up with it!). And seeing our home after 6 1/2 weeks didn't strike any resounding chord in my heart... I was just happy to see it and hit the bed. How undramatic.
I have changed, though. Yes, I have changed... a lot. In different ways. I knew I would. No one can go on a mission trip and not be changed somehow. What changed?
What first gave me hints as to a hidden change in me, was when I came home, opened my closet and got an overwhelming feeling that I had way too many clothes. It probably takes me just as much time finding what I want to wear that day as it does shopping for clothes (okay, exaggeration). Life was so simple when I only had 5 shirts to choose from in my suitcase. I began tearing through my closet. A growing pile of clothing items started taking up floor space as unwanted/unworn/too small/too large apparel were thrown on the ground. And there's still more than I need! I walk into my room and immediately find things that I don't really need or want and they're promptly thrown away or in the "Goodwill" pile. I hardly have any "but I might need this someday" or "what on earth are you doing?" thoughts. It's almost like I'm doing a much needed "past-due-date" cleansing.
I can't not think of all those disadvantaged people in those 3rd world countries and sit in idle repose surrounded by my luxurious living. Sure, my family's not rich Americans (far from it), but we still have way more than we need. Americans in general become so caught up in the pursuit of money, career, popularity and education that we begin collecting "non-essentials" that only take up space. It's ridiculous. Sell some of your collectables and help someone in India, for crying out loud.
Also, my world view has changed... drastically. Having only been to the Americas, it was a totally new experience to see the Asian countries, their religions, their beliefs, their lives, their diets and their values. Most Indians value family. South Korea values education. Thailand values... um... tourism? I don't know. But their values change their country. Their values could make their country prosperous or not. Their religions have such a hold on them. Some religions are so oppressing that it's almost as though the people are slaves to it... yet they've put the bonds of servanthood on themselves. They trust in wood and stone and are slaves to their own fears.
I've also changed in that I've got that fire for missions again. Sure, I always have an ember in my heart, but it's become a fire again. I say "again" because I always get that fire when I go on a mission trip. And every time, it grows bigger and bigger and doesn't die away easily. But shouldn't it be that way? We all need that fire.
I just wish I could share some of it with the slumbering people here in the States. If only I could kindle a fire under them and wake them up to the world's condition and the eminent return of our Lord and all the work that needs to be done. Stop focusing on how you can get as much out of life as possible. Instead, focus on how much you can give. Give yourself away.
There's a quote that I heard from a song years back that has become my motto. I find it fitting to this desire of mine and is my heartfelt prayer...
"Make my life as kindling, to set the world on fire."
I can change that to..."set Lewiston on fire." Or, "set Orofino on fire." Or Kooskia. Or Clarkston. If I can start a spark in one place, it can spread to encompass the whole world. I'm going to start with my closest mission fields right now. Will you help me start a wildfire?
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