Make My Life As Kindling...

Yes, I'm home.  Sorry it's taken me so long to blog.  I've been um... recuperating.  I haven't recovered from jet lag as well as I'd thought.  I did fine recovering when I arrived in India, but this time has been harder.  And, I'm having bowl problems.  It feels like I'm having culture/food shock, yet in my very own country!  Weird.

  I haven't been sleeping well since arriving home.  I wake up several times in the night (usually around 4 which was lunch time in Thailand).  I can't fall asleep well.  Like, last night, it took me over 2 hours to get to sleep!  Pathetic!  But, I started counting to 100 in Spanish and that did the trick.  I didn't even get to 80. But either way, I'm suffering from lack of sleep.  I only got like around 5 hours of sleep or less on the whole trip home which I'm guessing was around 2 1/2 or 3 days of traveling.  Yes, I'm very tired.

  But it sure feels good to be home.  I hadn't really felt like I was gone that long.  Seeing my family wasn't such a big deal like it was when I came back from Guatemala, but that's partly due to Skype (bless those who came up with it!).  And seeing our home after 6 1/2 weeks didn't strike any resounding chord in my heart... I was just happy to see it and hit the bed.  How undramatic.

  I have changed, though.  Yes, I have changed... a lot.  In different ways.  I knew I would.  No one can go on a mission trip and not be changed somehow.  What changed?

  What first gave me hints as to a hidden change in me, was when I came home, opened my closet and got an overwhelming feeling that I had way too many clothes.  It probably takes me just as much time finding what I want to wear that day as it does shopping for clothes (okay, exaggeration).  Life was so simple when I only had 5 shirts to choose from in my suitcase.  I began tearing through my closet.  A growing pile of clothing items started taking up floor space as unwanted/unworn/too small/too large apparel were thrown on the ground.  And there's still more than I need!  I walk into my room and immediately find things that I don't really need or want and they're promptly thrown away or in the "Goodwill" pile.  I hardly have any "but I might need this someday" or "what on earth are you doing?" thoughts.  It's almost like I'm doing a much needed "past-due-date" cleansing.

  I can't not think of all those disadvantaged people in those 3rd world countries and sit in idle repose surrounded by my luxurious living.  Sure, my family's not rich Americans (far from it), but we still have way more than we need.  Americans in general become so caught up in the pursuit of money, career, popularity and education that we begin collecting "non-essentials" that only take up space.  It's ridiculous.  Sell some of your collectables and help someone in India, for crying out loud.

  Also, my world view has changed... drastically.  Having only been to the Americas, it was a totally new experience to see the Asian countries, their religions, their beliefs, their lives, their diets and their values.  Most Indians value family.  South Korea values education.  Thailand values... um... tourism?  I don't know.  But their values change their country.  Their values could make their country prosperous or not.  Their religions have such a hold on them.  Some religions are so oppressing that it's almost as though the people are slaves to it... yet they've put the bonds of servanthood on themselves.  They trust in wood and stone and are slaves to their own fears.  

  

  I've also changed in that I've got that fire for missions again.  Sure, I always have an ember in my heart, but it's become a fire again.  I say "again" because I always get that fire when I go on a mission trip.  And every time, it grows bigger and bigger and doesn't die away easily.  But shouldn't it be that way?  We all need that fire.

  I just wish I could share some of it with the slumbering people here in the States.  If only I could kindle a fire under them and wake them up to the world's condition and the eminent return of our Lord and all the work that needs to be done.  Stop focusing on how you can get as much out of life as possible.  Instead, focus on how much you can give.  Give yourself away.

  There's a quote that I heard from a song years back that has become my motto.  I find it fitting to this desire of mine and is my heartfelt prayer...

"Make my life as kindling, to set the world on fire."

  I can change that to..."set Lewiston on fire."  Or, "set Orofino on fire."  Or Kooskia.  Or Clarkston.  If I can start a spark in one place, it can spread to encompass the whole world.  I'm going to start with my closest mission fields right now.  Will you help me start a wildfire?

A Positive Attitude Makes Everything Beautiful

A kerosene lamp stood in the corner of the room on a small table; it’s faint light dispelling only a fraction of the darkness that enshrouded the tiny room.  But I could see everything.  I took it all in.

  A one room home, barely bigger than my bedroom in America.  No kitchen; just a stove top.  No bathroom.  No living room.  No closet.  Just one room.  And a growing family calls this home.

 Linoleum covers the cement floor.  A hard bed lies in the corner.  Handmade curtains cover the windows.  Plastic roses sit poised in an orange vase next to the lantern, giving what cheer they can muster.  The ceiling looks like someone painted it… maybe a blue sky with white clouds… I can’t really tell.  If it is what I imagine, I find it rather fitting since these people hardly see the sky this time of year.

  I take this all in.  I see the husband and pregnant wife.  Sadness is in their expressions.  You see, they left to go to the hospital when they though she was having labor pains.  While they were gone, a thief broke into their small one-room home and stole their money.

  My heart nearly breaks.  These people have hardly anything.  They live in one room.  The wife doesn’t even have a proper kitchen to cook from.  They don’t have a fridge, a washer and dryer, or a microwave.  And yet, someone thinks it profitable to rob these dear people of the little they have.

  Then I think of myself.  Just the day before I spent nearly 5000 rupees on souvenirs in Darjeeling.  5000 rupees could buy this family food for probably over 4 weeks.  And I spent it all in one day.

  Suddenly, I want to jump up from this home and run back to my room.  I feel like grabbing my souvenirs and rushing to the market.  I feel like selling every bit of my goods and stuffing the cash I earn it into the couple’s hands and running off before they can object.

  Why am I so privileged?  Why am I so spoiled?  What does it matter if I don’t have enough money for all the souvenirs I want to buy for my friends and family?  If only I could help this dear family.

  And then, I’m struck with the realization, that most families in these 3^rd world countries live like this… or worse.  Some children don’t know what it’s like to have a loving mother or father.  Some people have never felt a pillow.  Some think one meal a day is luxury.  Girls and boys get excited about getting a pen.  Still others think they’ve seen the world when they travel a few miles away from home.

  As I think of all this, my heart aches.  I agree with Katie Davis who described the need like “trying to empty the ocean with a dropper.”  It seems like we try so hard to help some, just to realize that there’s millions still who need help.  It makes you feel helpless, like using a dropper to empty the ocean.

  As I continued looking around the tiny room, a poster on the wall caught my attention.  It showed majestic mountains, red flowers and some butterflies… a good description of Mungpoo (minus the butterflies).  There were some words in English on it.  They said, “A positive attitude makes everything beautiful.”

  Looking at this family here living in this small domicile, one can’t imagine anything beautiful about it.  Not when we have our homes in America to compare it with.  Yet, the saying is true.  Having a positive attitude can transform this tiny dwelling into the grandest of palaces.  Having a positive attitude can make the trials here pale into insignificance.  A positive attitude can make emptying the ocean with a dropper possible… as long as God is overseeing.

  I found that I left that home, not with a feeling of discouragement and disheartenment, but with a renewed purpose…with a purpose to do what I can to empty the ocean, one dropper-full at a time.  It may take me a lifetime, yet if I keep a positive attitude, everything will be beautiful.