Sabbath Rest

It has come.

I knew it would sneak up on me quicker than I anticipated.  And it did.

School has a way of doing that to you.

I can't believe it.  I'm actually in the program I've been pursuing; the program I've been aiming at for over 3 years now.  My goal is becoming a reality.  And I'm still dazed.

I was walking across campus today from having spent a few hours studying in the library, when I happened to look down and notice the scrubs I was wearing.  How can I describe the excitement that bubbled up in me?  Wow.  I'm in my dental hygiene program.  I'm actually in.

God is good.

But now I must add that this isn't any easy program I've begun.  Never did I realize how much anatomy is hidden in the oral cavity.  And trying to learn each tooth by a numeric system is incredibly challenging.  Just wait till I learn all the facial bones, muscles, circulator system and nerves.  And how about trying to learn all that, while also trying to learn how to take a perfect radiograph (x-ray) of the teeth, probe around your patient's mouth without jabbing them, and hold a mirror in your non-dominant hand.  Oh, I know it's possible.  Lots of hygienists have done it in the past.  My respect for them has tripled, to say the least.

My 5 other classmates - all girls ranging from 20 to 26 - are just as excited.  Yet, our enthusiasm seemed to quickly get smothered under the heavy load of books to read, assignments to complete, and exams to take.  I hear more sighs; I see more yawns; I hear more groans.  I try to remind myself of how blessed I am to be in this program.  Of how blessed I am to be learning all this.  Of what a help I'll be to people who need oral care.  Then, the book load isn't so heavy, the assignments not so burdensome, the exams not so tedious.

And, once in a while, when my screensaver kicks on as my computer dozes, I see pictures of India.  Then, I'm reminded of why I'm doing this.

Already, I've learned so much in the program (and it's only been two weeks!).  So many things I would do differently if I were to be in India again.  I can't imagine how much I'll know after two years of this!

How happy I am to have the Sabbath.  I really need it after an exhausting week of school.

Yet, I had two exams to complete online this weekend.  When I got out of class Friday at noon and realized that I only had a few hours till sundown and that I had hardly had enough time to study for my two exams and that the Sabbath was smack in the middle of my weekend, a sudden feeling of panic enveloped me.  Realizing my predicament, I internally freaked out.

But then, I remembered something.

Before school began, I emailed my lead professor and explained to her about my Sabbath and my desire to honor that day by abstaining from doing or thinking of school on my rest day.  I politely asked if there were any exams, assignments, field trips or the like that would fall on my Sabbath and would she please let me know ahead of time so I could make arrangements if necessary.  She replied sweetly that they would do their absolute best to work with me.

She then forwarded my email to several of my other online professors.  I then later found out that all the professors had gotten together and planned out their schedules to that all the exams and assignments would not be on Saturday, or would be over a two-day period so as to allow me to make each deadline.  Wow.  Isn't God good?!

So, I was talking with one of my classmates Friday about the weekend.  I made mention of how I would have to leave the library at 3 to get some things done before sundown and wouldn't be able to study till Saturday night.  She is familiar with SDA's and she asked me, "is it because of your Sabbath?"  I replied the affirmative.  She commented, "that's so cool that you just take a whole day of your week and not even think about school.  You must feel so refreshed after it."

I opened my mouth to respond, but closed it feeling a bit of shame.  How could I ignore the beautiful truth of the Sabbath rest?  She was right.

So I laid my plans for the weekend at His feet, knowing that He would bless my desire to keep His Sabbath holy.  I claimed His promises and entered into the Sabbath hours with nary a burden.  And I had a wonderful Sabbath indeed.

And guess what?  I got both my exams done Sunday morning bright and early.  What a relief.

"The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath..." 

Last Sabbath In India

My last Sabbath in India was such a blessed one.  News had spread that I had bought a sari and had plans to wear it that Sabbath.  The girls were so excited that they mentioned they would wear their saris for Sabbath.  It soon spread to everyone and on Sabbath, I was surprised to see every single girl, including the Horners and female staff, wearing their saris!  Wow.  I didn't expect that.

  So after church, we took group pictures.  Here they are.

Our group!

Every girl in her sari

Namuna, me, Phul Kumari, Bimala, and Kalpana Rai

Bipana, Me, Sarah, Rebica (hidden behind Sarah) and Kalpana Magar

My best Assamese friend... Renu

With the Pozos!

Sandra Miss, myself and Mrs. Horner 

Jamuna and me

Hannah, my favorite lady translator! ( look so white next to her!)

Mina!  And she even smiled!

Krystle and me 

My favorite roommate ever!

Photos

Well, I finally have fast enough internet to post pictures.  I'm in Thailand now, but haven't had a chance to blog.  I'll do more later, but here's to let you know that I've posted pictures on different blogs.  The easiest way to find those pictures is to click on the label at the end of this post that says "photos" and it will bring up all the posts that have pictures on them.

  I'll post some pictures here too of different events with my comments.  Enjoy!

Our little home (with the green sheet in the doorway)

Our bathroom, where we bathe, relieve ourselves and do laundry

Krystle and me heading to market

Waiting at a print shop

Walkin through market

Meeting some girls from the center

Displaying our water bottles

Teaching a Women's Ministries class 

Hannah translated for me

Christian sleeping on the way back from Siliguri

Being good company to Krystle... I really did need a nap though

Holding a very pocky fruit which I can't remember the name of

At market in Siliguri

Helping buy produce for the Center

Returning from market with Sandra Miss and Krystle

Our favorite snack!

Cleaning Suzanna's teeth

Krystle surprised me with her camera!

Cleaning

A Day in the Life of Jolene – Mungpoo, India

5:15 – My alarm startles me awake.  I set it to snooze, but finally get up at 5:25.  It’s cold this morning (like most mornings… what’s new?).

6:00 – My time with God.  I’m reading through the parables of Jesus alongside Christ’s Object Lessons. 

6:30 – I head up to Krystle’s morning worship at the church.  She’s covering the Lord’s Prayer.  Very intriguing.  We ended the worship with everyone repeating the Lord’s Prayer… most of them in Nepali, with a few of us saying it in English!  Pretty neat!

7:30 – Breakfast!  Mmm… I had fried rice, sweet rice, millet waffle and chicu (a most delicious local fruit.). 

8:30 – Brushed my teeth, combed my hair and headed out the door to help Krystle with the last few girls who have the massage practical to complete.  I’m the “dummy,” which means they do the practical on me.  It was pretty cold as it was, but what made it worse was the girls had freezing cold hands!  Talk about non-relaxing!  No sleeping through this massage!

10:30 – Phew.  Done with the practical!  I’m ready to start cleaning teeth.  Who should I pick first?  I chose Jamuna.

11:00 – Cleaning Jamuna’s teeth

12:00 – Still cleaning Jamuna’s teeth.

1:15 – Finally done!  Man, did she have dental problems!  It took me over an hour just to work on her bottom teeth!  And, to top it off, she kept salivating, causing to her to have to spit every 5 minutes.  She’s one of the ones that really needed a cleaning.  Glad to have helped her (although, she complained her jaw hurt after… I’m not surprised!).

1:30 – Lunch!  Rice, stir-fry, cucumber salad and dahl.  We have dahl and rice everyday.  I don’t think I’ll miss rice too much when I leave Asia.  Or dahl, for that matter (especially when you almost always break a tooth on small rocks that aren’t cleaned out of the lentils).

2:30 – I start working on Hannah’s teeth.  She had her teeth cleaned the month before by a novice so she wanted another novice to check her teeth.  It was boring…nothing to clean, really.  I’m guessing most teeth in America will look about as good as hers did.  How unexciting.

3:00 – Preparing for my Women’s Ministries class.  I have the topic “leading small groups.”  I felt I could easily find stuff to talk about on that one since I kind of led a very small group of young people in Idaho.  I think I might talk a little too long though… we’ll see.

5:00 – Started Women’s Ministries class… late.  The girls were given a test that proved to be much more complicated then they’d expected.  They all moaned at how long it was too (1 page, front and back).  I couldn’t help but chuckle when I thought of my exams in college – 5 or 6 pages with 2 hours to complete.  And I usually spent a good hour and a half doing them.

5:30 – Finished my talk.  I had to speak quickly so as to keep within the time limit.  The topic was good, but the girls seemed a little tired by the time we finished.  I think that exam wiped them out.  Now for staff worship.

6:45 – Staff worship ends and we all have some warm homemade soymilk with rice puffs.  I started feeling really sick during the worship.  I could tell that I had a low-grade fever.

7:30 – Auntie Lori checks my temp and, sure enough, I have a low-grade fever (99.4°F).  I really didn’t feel well.  We sat up and talked for a while and then Senteal came over to sing some songs with us.  He’s learning to sing in English pretty well.  He knows like over 6 languages!  These crazy people who learn languages so fast.  I hardly can get past mastering one language.

8:30 – I’m miserable.  My fever has gone up and I feel chilled.  I drag myself around trying to get ready for bed.

9:00 – I have my nighttime prayer and thank God for Auntie Lori.  She’s taken the job of watching over me seriously.  She gives me my dose of icky oregano oil to make me well, tucks me in bed, and hands me my hot water bottle.  What a Godsend! 

Staring Contest

It’s a fact… Indians like to stare.  Maybe it’s the color of my skin, or the color of my hair, but one thing’s for sure – I get stared at everyday.

  It honestly gets kind of annoying.  I mean, I sometimes get stares in America, but that’s usually because I have something in my teeth or my hair’s standing on end or I’ve made a fool of myself somehow.  People in America don’t like to get caught staring and so they find creative ways to do so without being noticed.

  Indians seem to have no discernment on when it’s time to stop staring.  As I walk towards them they stare.  As I walk past them, they stare.  As I walk away from them, they stare (how do I know?  I feel it.  Either that, or I have eyes on the back of my head.).  Really?!  Am I that different?

  There doesn’t seem to be too much of a difference between genders on the amount of staring.  Boy, girls, men and women stare at me.  Men might have more of a tendency to stare longer, but not enough to make me uncomfortable. 

  I’ve tried staring back… or maybe it’s more like glaring back.  Either way, it doesn’t seem to intimidate them too much.  Some, yes, will lower their gaze to the ground when I look at them, but some just continue staring right back.  I get tired of staring at yet another Indian that I finally give up and let them stare at me in peace.

  I’ve tried to avoid all the stares that I can… but that doesn’t work too well.  I’ll be on the roof of our house hanging laundry, when a vehicle goes by piled with people.  Knowing the inevitableness of the ensuing stares, I quickly duck behind a pair of… socks?!  Well, that didn’t work too well.  Next time, I’ll be sure to be hanging one of my skirts when another car goes by.  But, alas!  I follow my preconceived plan, only to realize a second later, that one of our neighbors is watching me quizzically from their own rooftop.  What is that white girl doing now?  So much for that.

  Sometimes, I do give them reason to stare.  Like the time I had to run to the bathroom.  Now, that shouldn’t be good enough reason to stare, but the circumstances made it such.  The girls at the Center had to do a practical to pass their massage therapy class.  I was picked as the “dummy” for them to do their practical on while Krystle would watch and grade them.  I was freezing cold, so the girls piled blankets on me to keep me warm.  Half way through the number of girls doing the practical, I had to use the bathroom really, really bad, but being immodest, I wrapped myself in the blankets so that I could relieve my burdened bladder.  Unfortunately, the blankets fell to just above my knees, revealing my very white legs, but being in such a state of hurriedness, I didn’t care and ran outside to the waiting lavatories (which are nothing more than a hole in the ground inside a metal box).  Upon reentering the church building (where we were doing the practicals), I was told by one of the girls that a man had been staring at me.  We glanced out the door and, sure enough, he was still staring at the door.  I wouldn’t blame him for staring at me.  Here I was, wrapped in 3 blankets, baring my pale legs, running frantically from the bathroom to the church wearing flip-flops a size too small.  Quite the comical scene, to be sure.

But more often then not, I’m not doing something crazy like that.  In fact, I’m pretty much normal (some people may disagree).  But I still appear to be worthy of their stares.  Krystle says she gets stared at as well, but she has dark hair.  I have blond hair.  It’s like it’s screaming, “hey everybody!  Look at me!”  Once when Krystle, Christian and I were at market, Krystle whispered to me, “That guy’s staring at you.”  I looked at her and asked rather sarcastically, “which one?”  What’s new? 

  I don’t know if I’d ever get used to all this staring.  Maybe if I lived here long enough I wouldn’t mind if after a while.  But it’s still bothering me even after 3 ½ weeks of being here.  Oh well.  Maybe that’s just a part of the experience.

Sabbath Sermon and Sadness

I did the sermon this past Sabbath.  Turned out better than I thought.  I was very lost at the beginning of my studies for it.  I couldn’t seem to bring it all together and it was really bothering me.  I thought I’d share from parable of the sower and the seed, because I’d been studying Christ Object Lessons and was getting a lot out of it.  So I started preparing my sermon notes (which thankfully, I was warned I’d be asked to preach, so I had a week to prepare unlike many others who are told the day before that they have the sermon the next day) and was getting stuck on the different soils.  Seemed like I wasn’t getting anywhere.

  But I kept praying for God’s guidance, and He impressed me to take a totally different approach from what I had planned, so I did that.  And it all came together perfectly (why wouldn’t it?  God is awesome!).  So I preached on the different soil types and how they relate to different heart conditions.  I appealed to my listeners that they have one of these heart conditions (soil conditions) and which one are they.  Then I went into how to prepare the soil of your heart using the 3 steps of a true heart conversion coupled with the 3 soil types (heart conditions) that needed help.  And I believe God blessed it. 

  It’s nice having a translator!  While he’s speaking, I can be looking over my notes to see what comes next.  When he’s done, I can speak to my listeners without looking at my notes.  Then we start the process all over again when he translates!  It’s pretty cool!  Plus, Joseph is an excellent translator!  He doesn’t get stuck on words like some of the others here and he speaks Nepali fluently.  He also mimics my voice fluctuations and dramatic movements (which I frequently use).  It’s fun working with him!

Okay, changing topic...

  It's weird... although there are so many hard things to deal with here in India, I think I'm actually going to miss it.  I'm going to miss the girls, who I've grown to love.  I'm going to miss the cold nights, cuddling close to my hot water bottle hearing Indian music playing in the distance.  I'm going to miss cleaning people's teeth, watching the delighted looks on their faces when I show them the "after" picture (yes, I've taken before and after pictures!  I'll post sometime!).  I'll miss Krystle, who's been such a fun roommate and friend.  I'll miss my baths, oddly enough.  Yes, there will be a lot I'll miss.  

  When the girls here found out that I only have one more week left with them, they all pouted and made crying noises to show their sadness.  I joined them in the fun, pretending to cry, and they thought it was hilarious.  We had a good laugh.  But under all the levity, I could see they truly meant it.  They're going to miss me... and I them.  It will be sad to leave.  I've grown so close to all these dear people in such a short amount of time. 

I'll miss them a lot.

A Positive Attitude Makes Everything Beautiful

A kerosene lamp stood in the corner of the room on a small table; it’s faint light dispelling only a fraction of the darkness that enshrouded the tiny room.  But I could see everything.  I took it all in.

  A one room home, barely bigger than my bedroom in America.  No kitchen; just a stove top.  No bathroom.  No living room.  No closet.  Just one room.  And a growing family calls this home.

 Linoleum covers the cement floor.  A hard bed lies in the corner.  Handmade curtains cover the windows.  Plastic roses sit poised in an orange vase next to the lantern, giving what cheer they can muster.  The ceiling looks like someone painted it… maybe a blue sky with white clouds… I can’t really tell.  If it is what I imagine, I find it rather fitting since these people hardly see the sky this time of year.

  I take this all in.  I see the husband and pregnant wife.  Sadness is in their expressions.  You see, they left to go to the hospital when they though she was having labor pains.  While they were gone, a thief broke into their small one-room home and stole their money.

  My heart nearly breaks.  These people have hardly anything.  They live in one room.  The wife doesn’t even have a proper kitchen to cook from.  They don’t have a fridge, a washer and dryer, or a microwave.  And yet, someone thinks it profitable to rob these dear people of the little they have.

  Then I think of myself.  Just the day before I spent nearly 5000 rupees on souvenirs in Darjeeling.  5000 rupees could buy this family food for probably over 4 weeks.  And I spent it all in one day.

  Suddenly, I want to jump up from this home and run back to my room.  I feel like grabbing my souvenirs and rushing to the market.  I feel like selling every bit of my goods and stuffing the cash I earn it into the couple’s hands and running off before they can object.

  Why am I so privileged?  Why am I so spoiled?  What does it matter if I don’t have enough money for all the souvenirs I want to buy for my friends and family?  If only I could help this dear family.

  And then, I’m struck with the realization, that most families in these 3^rd world countries live like this… or worse.  Some children don’t know what it’s like to have a loving mother or father.  Some people have never felt a pillow.  Some think one meal a day is luxury.  Girls and boys get excited about getting a pen.  Still others think they’ve seen the world when they travel a few miles away from home.

  As I think of all this, my heart aches.  I agree with Katie Davis who described the need like “trying to empty the ocean with a dropper.”  It seems like we try so hard to help some, just to realize that there’s millions still who need help.  It makes you feel helpless, like using a dropper to empty the ocean.

  As I continued looking around the tiny room, a poster on the wall caught my attention.  It showed majestic mountains, red flowers and some butterflies… a good description of Mungpoo (minus the butterflies).  There were some words in English on it.  They said, “A positive attitude makes everything beautiful.”

  Looking at this family here living in this small domicile, one can’t imagine anything beautiful about it.  Not when we have our homes in America to compare it with.  Yet, the saying is true.  Having a positive attitude can transform this tiny dwelling into the grandest of palaces.  Having a positive attitude can make the trials here pale into insignificance.  A positive attitude can make emptying the ocean with a dropper possible… as long as God is overseeing.

  I found that I left that home, not with a feeling of discouragement and disheartenment, but with a renewed purpose…with a purpose to do what I can to empty the ocean, one dropper-full at a time.  It may take me a lifetime, yet if I keep a positive attitude, everything will be beautiful.

Random Thoughts

Note: This was written Monday, the 23rd.  Due to internet being down, I had to write all this on my computer and save it.  Enjoy!

They say that mind power is incredibly powerful (maybe that’s why they call it mind power?).  I’ve seen it work.  It’s pretty incredible.  I just wish I could use some of it now!  It doesn’t seem to be working!

  I’ve told myself several times that I’m not going to get sick while I’m here.  I’ve taken all the precautionary measures to assure that I not get sick, but alas!  They did scarcely a thing!  I had a sore throat a couple mornings ago that lasted all day.  The next day it was gone, but in its place was this dry cough that is threatening to get worse.  Yesterday I had a runny nose, and today, I have a stuffed-up nose.  I have no intentions on getting sick… but some things you just can’t help. 

  We had a nice Sabbath, besides the fact that I was fighting a sore throat.  They have quite the extensive Sabbath service here in Mungpoo.  First, we spend an hour in the pre-Sabbath school (which has it’s own song service, nature nugget, special music, testimony and offering), and then we split into groups for the actual Sabbath school time.  Krystle and I usually go to the English one, but there was no one there, so we did our own… watched David Ashrick!  After an hour of that, we get back together for the church service, which often lasts 1 ½ to 2 hours long.  We don’t get out of church until around 2 usually.  That’s 4 ½ hours of being “in church!”  It seemed to go faster this time then last week, though.  Sandra Miss translated everything for us, since it was all in Nepali.

I joined a group going for a Sabbath hike.  That was enjoyable!  A heavy fog had rolled in; it was so thick I could almost feel it.  It gave the whole landscape an enchanted look.  Reminded me of the Enchanted Forest in Pilgrims Progress!  We hiked for 2 hours and boy, do my calves feel it!  I haven’t worked them hard since I’ve been here!  Haven’t had time to do much exercising.

Dahn Kumari, Jemima, Me, Sarah, and Seth

My Enchanted Forest

Our group again, but this time Seth's taking the picture and Sandra Miss took his place

   

I loved the hike! 

  Krystle and I spent probably 2 hours doing laundry this morning.  Everything here takes longer than you think.  At home, when I say I’m doing laundry, that means I opened a washer, placed the clothes in with some soap, and pushed a button.  And when they’re done, I put them in the dryer and an hour later pull out nice clean and dry clothes.  Here, you spend 2 hours just washing the clothes… by hand.  Sure, that’s not too big a deal, yet you really have to pay attention to how you use your clothes!  It takes several days for some things to dry because of the cold.  Like my wool socks.  It took them 3 days to fully dry… and I only brought three pairs (one of which I’ve designated as my “bedtime” socks.).  And your hands get so cold washing in frigid water.  Thankfully, we warmed our water! :)

Ahhh...

Oh internet how I've missed you!  It's like seeing a long lost friend after months of being separated.  I'm a pretty happy camper now.

  A lot has happened since I've been on here.  Hopefully tonight I can post my blogposts that have been saved on my computer.  Although, I'll have to share the internet stick with 4 other people.  Hmmm...

Anyway, it's time for lunch.  I'll post my blogposts with pictures later.

Update on Jolene

Jolene is sorry that she has not been able to update her blog on her mission trip to India & Thailand.  Internet has been down and she is not sure when it will be re-established.  However, she has been writing down her thoughts and experiences and hope to post them to this blog as soon as she has internet (which may not be until she gets to Thailand.

Thanks

Cheryl Stottlemyer

Behind Closed Teeth

I will never ever brush my teeth the same again.

Ever.

  I take my hat off to the dentists and hygienists who work tirelessly to provide oral health to their patients.  It’s hard stuff (quite literally!).  I’m impressed now at how well my hygienist works on my teeth.  I should tell them that.

  After finishing my 6^th victim’s… I mean, patient’s teeth, I’m moved to cry out for people to take better care of their teeth!  At least brush them twice a day, floss, never use tobacco, don’t drink soda pop or eat lots of sweets, don’t chew beetle nut… and don’t expect your hygienist to fix all your oral problems, for crying out loud!  Ok, enough said.

  I have now passed the line from an overly cautious, too gentle, not-doing-such-a-good-job amateur to a more confident and persistent amateur.  How do I know?  Sandra Miss isn’t looking over my shoulder gasping and grabbing at the tools.  At least all she has to do now is check my work after I’m done.  And she usually finds a few things I’ve missed, but overall, I’d say I’m starting to get the hang of this.  I’m always thrilled to look at the teeth after I’m done and see the work I did.  What a great feeling!

  One thing that’s been really nice is how I’ve been able to connect with each girl as I clean her teeth.  I’m not able to communicate with them except through hand gestures and vocal sounds, yet I am communicating to them so strongly when I’m probing in their mouth.  I’m showing them I care… that their oral health is important to me and that I care about their wellbeing.  I’m starting to remember their names too… Phul Kamari, Mina, Bipana, Ramisha... now they stand apart.  They aren’t just a part of the blob of Nepali girls I see everyday.  They are individual people with individual needs.  And now, I can minister to them more effectively. 

  One girl in particular stands out.  It’s Mina.  She’s super quiet, always carrying around a very serious expression on her face.  She doesn’t smile too easy and I don’t know if I’ve ever heard her laugh.  She’s seems like an impenetrable fortress, carrying heavy secrets that threaten to burst out in the open, leaving her bare and vulnerable.  I can’t speak her language.  I didn’t know that she bore a dark secret.

  Mina was married.  Or maybe I should say, she was kind of married.  She ran off with a guy, and in Nepali culture, you’re then considered married.  I guess his family didn’t like what had happened and they convinced the love of her life to leave her.  Talk about wounded.  She reaches out to grasp hold of what she thought was love, only to be burned for trying.  Her response then, was to draw back inside herself.  She felt that life wasn’t worth living, so she took a millstone of great weight and let it fall on her head.  Fortunately, it didn’t kill her, but she was left in a state of unconsciousness for 3 weeks.  She awoke, but had chronic neck pain all the time.  Somehow she ended up here at the Center.  She’s only 19.

  So I’m working on Mina’s teeth, oblivious to her hidden pain and trauma.  I notice her eyes… they scream for help since she’s sealed her lips.  When I fumble trying to tell her to spit, she smiles weakly.  If I weren’t working on her teeth I probably wouldn’t ever see them.

  Krystle tells me later of Mina and her past.  I guess Krystle was able to help relieve some of Mina’s neck pain, which proved to be a wrench in opening her heart just a crack.  Mina’s heart has starting warming since being here at the Center.  She’s finding that true love is still worth reaching for.  Her painful past may never be fully erased, but as we love Mina with a tender heartfelt love, her barriers will start breaking and she’ll soon find that she’s been set free.

That’s worth everything in the world.

  Yes, cleaning teeth is helping people with their physical needs… yet, I see more then that.  I see a tool that can potentially be another wrench in opening a young woman’s heart.  I can see her open it just a crack maybe, but even a crack will flood the heart with warmth and love.  Then, the winter that held onto her for so long can start to melt away into spring.

  And I can do that!  On one condition, though… I have to let Christ do the same in my heart.  As my heart overflows with His love, it will spill over onto one of these cold hearts and start the process of spring.