God Used Me

Who would’ve thought we could get so close and love each other so intensely in only a short 3 ½ weeks?  I find it hard to believe.  Yet, I could see the proof.

  A program just for me.  A poem written with me in mind.  Special musics done by the shiest of the girls.  Words of gratitude from young and old.  Gifts given lovingly.  Tears shed.

  I didn't know they had all this in mind.  I didn't even know the girls and staff all felt this way about my leaving.  Yet, looking around the group, I could see tear stained faces.  One was even bawling with her head in her hands.  All because of me?

  I wondered what was going on when I was told we were going to the church for worship that evening.  We usually had staff worship in the kitchen.  And why did all the staff come trotting giddily up behind me as I entered the church building?  Then I found out.  This is what I saw.

Singing

Tears sprung to my eyes especially after reading the first one.  I turned around and faced the girls, who sat there looking at me with expectant faces.  I called them to come give me a group hug.  The tears started flowing, falling on the heads of each girl I hugged and it started mingling with their own tears.

  "Of course, I want to come back," I said with trembling lips.  Funny thing is, I never really felt that way until that moment.  But at that moment, I realized that I would give the world to come back and see each girl.

Sandra Miss giving her appreciation

  I was then asked to sit at the front of the church as they gave their program planned just for me.  I couldn't stop the tears that kept falling down my cheeks.  I noticed several in the same predicament.  A special music was sung about the 6 seasons of India, which they all knew I had been intrigued about.  A poem was given that, through translation, said something about how amazing it was that we had grown so close over such a short period of time and that we were sad to say goodbye yet we knew that we would meet again.

Poem by Namuna

  Testimonies were given.  First it was Sandra Miss.  Then it was Bipana, the shy girl who would erupt in hysterical laughter with even the lightest touch because of her overly ticklishness.  Then Mrs. Horner spoke.  Then Chandrakala, the girl who arrived only a few days before my leaving.  Then Joseph (the only guy there that night).  Although not all of them could speak English, I caught bits and pieces (through translation)... you won our hearts... you have such an infectious smile... you encouraged me to be cheerful and always smile... thank you for cleaning my teeth... thank you for teaching me how to clean my teeth... thank you for teaching me how to lead VBS... thank you for teaching English... you were so helpful...I will miss you... we love you.

Special music by the shy Assamese girls

  Who wouldn't cry?  I realized that I was loved.   I realized that these people were more than friends... they had become a part of me.  I realized that I would miss them and I also realized that I didn't want to leave.  I let my tears flow.

Receiving my gift

  Another special music, then I was asked to sit back at the front of the church in my special spot.  I was then given two gifts.  One, Sandra Miss carried behind her back.  All the girls giggled excitedly.  A beautiful black lacy scarf was placed around my neck and then Sandra hugged me.  My next gift was carried by two girls (Rebica and Sajanna) and placed carefully on my lap.  It turned out to be a gorgeous picture that the girls said was my "home."  I felt like laughing and crying, so I did both.

The picture

  What had happened during these past 3 1/2 weeks?  Where had time gone?  How had I drawn so incredibly close to these girls in only a short time that would cause them to put on a whole program for me?

"God be with you till we meet again..."

  And I can't help but think, what if I had stayed longer?  What if I hadn't stayed 3 1/2 weeks but 3 1/2 months... or years?  How much would I affect them then?  If I could affect them this much in only 3 1/2 weeks, what could happen in a longer period of time?  What amazing bonding had taken place in these short weeks!

  And God used me.  Me.  Tall, blond, awkward, humorous, clumsy me.  If God could use me to create an impact on these girls' lives, then what can He do with you?

God used me.

  

Behind Closed Teeth

I will never ever brush my teeth the same again.

Ever.

  I take my hat off to the dentists and hygienists who work tirelessly to provide oral health to their patients.  It’s hard stuff (quite literally!).  I’m impressed now at how well my hygienist works on my teeth.  I should tell them that.

  After finishing my 6^th victim’s… I mean, patient’s teeth, I’m moved to cry out for people to take better care of their teeth!  At least brush them twice a day, floss, never use tobacco, don’t drink soda pop or eat lots of sweets, don’t chew beetle nut… and don’t expect your hygienist to fix all your oral problems, for crying out loud!  Ok, enough said.

  I have now passed the line from an overly cautious, too gentle, not-doing-such-a-good-job amateur to a more confident and persistent amateur.  How do I know?  Sandra Miss isn’t looking over my shoulder gasping and grabbing at the tools.  At least all she has to do now is check my work after I’m done.  And she usually finds a few things I’ve missed, but overall, I’d say I’m starting to get the hang of this.  I’m always thrilled to look at the teeth after I’m done and see the work I did.  What a great feeling!

  One thing that’s been really nice is how I’ve been able to connect with each girl as I clean her teeth.  I’m not able to communicate with them except through hand gestures and vocal sounds, yet I am communicating to them so strongly when I’m probing in their mouth.  I’m showing them I care… that their oral health is important to me and that I care about their wellbeing.  I’m starting to remember their names too… Phul Kamari, Mina, Bipana, Ramisha... now they stand apart.  They aren’t just a part of the blob of Nepali girls I see everyday.  They are individual people with individual needs.  And now, I can minister to them more effectively. 

  One girl in particular stands out.  It’s Mina.  She’s super quiet, always carrying around a very serious expression on her face.  She doesn’t smile too easy and I don’t know if I’ve ever heard her laugh.  She’s seems like an impenetrable fortress, carrying heavy secrets that threaten to burst out in the open, leaving her bare and vulnerable.  I can’t speak her language.  I didn’t know that she bore a dark secret.

  Mina was married.  Or maybe I should say, she was kind of married.  She ran off with a guy, and in Nepali culture, you’re then considered married.  I guess his family didn’t like what had happened and they convinced the love of her life to leave her.  Talk about wounded.  She reaches out to grasp hold of what she thought was love, only to be burned for trying.  Her response then, was to draw back inside herself.  She felt that life wasn’t worth living, so she took a millstone of great weight and let it fall on her head.  Fortunately, it didn’t kill her, but she was left in a state of unconsciousness for 3 weeks.  She awoke, but had chronic neck pain all the time.  Somehow she ended up here at the Center.  She’s only 19.

  So I’m working on Mina’s teeth, oblivious to her hidden pain and trauma.  I notice her eyes… they scream for help since she’s sealed her lips.  When I fumble trying to tell her to spit, she smiles weakly.  If I weren’t working on her teeth I probably wouldn’t ever see them.

  Krystle tells me later of Mina and her past.  I guess Krystle was able to help relieve some of Mina’s neck pain, which proved to be a wrench in opening her heart just a crack.  Mina’s heart has starting warming since being here at the Center.  She’s finding that true love is still worth reaching for.  Her painful past may never be fully erased, but as we love Mina with a tender heartfelt love, her barriers will start breaking and she’ll soon find that she’s been set free.

That’s worth everything in the world.

  Yes, cleaning teeth is helping people with their physical needs… yet, I see more then that.  I see a tool that can potentially be another wrench in opening a young woman’s heart.  I can see her open it just a crack maybe, but even a crack will flood the heart with warmth and love.  Then, the winter that held onto her for so long can start to melt away into spring.

  And I can do that!  On one condition, though… I have to let Christ do the same in my heart.  As my heart overflows with His love, it will spill over onto one of these cold hearts and start the process of spring.